Jen's Blog
Wednesday, 7. August 2002

Barb: I was a bit of a social butterfly, you could say, before the surgery. After, I had to make myself go places. That’s when I joined the Woman’s Club and met Jan.

Jan: Yeah, but it was a long time after I met you until we become friends.

KATIE: Why is that, Jan?

Jan: Well, I guess you could say I had a little trouble getting to know the real Barb.

Barb: A little trouble?

Jan: A lot of trouble! I could not get past “Barb the Laryngectomee”. I felt so uncomfortable around her. She was not like the other women at all! I did not know how to act or what to say around her. I had never seen a laryngectomee before. I had no idea what to say to her. I did not know if I should mention the laryngectomy or not. I did not know if she was comfortable talking about it. I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask her, but I was afraid of offending her or making her feel uncomfortable. I also had a hard time dealing with the sound of her voice. I would see her talking to the other women and I remember thinking how can they talk and laugh with her? She sounds like a computer!

Barb: See, my fears were confirmed.

KATIE: So, Jan, how did you two get to be such good friends.

Jan: Well, it just so happened that the Woman’s Club was having a silent auction, and we both were assigned to the same committee. I had to really start talking to her; not just chit-chat, but a real conversation. We started working together on the committee and I started to see that she was really a great lady. She was not much different than I was.

KATIE: Jan what would you tell others who may come into contact with a laryngecomtee now?

Jan: Well, I would tell others to introduce themselves and make friends with them. Laryngectomees are just like us; they have the same needs and desires that we do. After having the surgery, they are insecure enough, they do not need us to act squeemish and be judgemental around them.

Barb: Definitely!! I have talked to a lot of other laryngectomees and we all have fears about going into the community and meeting new people. I definitely would encourage everyone to try to continue their lives as much as possible, and to meet new people. Becoming friends with Jan really helped me too. Before I met her, I felt so out of place, not only at the meetings, but in pubic. I felt like I was back in elementary and it was my first day at a new school. Everyone talked and laughed with each other, but no one wanted to talk to me. When I met Jan, though, it was like a boost of confidence. I saw that I could meet people and that not everyone was going to see me as a laryngectomee. A few special people would try to see me as the woman that I am.

KATIE: Anything you would like to add, Barb?

Barb: I would just like to tell the viewers to stay away from cigarettes and alcohol. If you smoke, stop smoking. If you drink, quit drinking, or at least cut back. My story is another good reason why you should think twice before lighting up.

KATIE: Barbara and Jan, thank you so much for joining us today. Your story was so compelling. I am glad you are a survivor.

After the commercial break, we'll visit with our next guest, Joe Williams. He too, is a survivor of Head & Neck Cancer.

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