June 20, 1997

Well, here I am. I went to speech therapy again today. Jennifer is teaching me esophageal speech. It is pretty hard, but I have just started learning it. I feel like I am trying to talk on a burp! I have been working with an artificial larynx since the surgery. I have the "neck type". I think it looks like a little flashlight, without the light of course. It is small, tube shaped. It also requires batteries. I am going to have to remember to always keep extra batteries around, just in case mine happen to go dead (Web Whispers, 2001).

It has taken some time, but I am getting used to the artificial larynx. It is a good option for me. I do sound a little electronic, but people can understand me better now. I may sound unnatural, but at least I can communicate! Jennifer says that it may take a while to master esophageal speech. A lot of laryngectomees prefer esophageal speech because it is spontaneous and they feel it is more natural (Lauder, 1970). I do not know if I like it yet, though. She says that since I live alone it is important that I be able to communicate intelligibily. She is right. In an emergency, a stranger may not be able to help me, because he could not understand me when I spoke with esophageal speech. And, I love to talk on the phone to my girlfriends and they can understand me much better if I am using my artificial larynx. I have also noticed that people understand me better in public, like in a crowded restaurant or the mall. Jennifer says that in really stressful situations an artificial larynx is good to use because stress makes using esophageal speech more difficult. The electrolarynx makes me sound louder, too (Lauder, 1970). Right now, it is easier for me to communicate using the artificial larynx.